Category Archives: A Little Nonsense Now and Then (Is Relished by the Wisest Men)

What If a New Constitutional Convention Overthrows the Federal Reserve Act because of Lois Lerner?

texasFFAconventionMediaStaffI heard a man speak on Tony Brown’s Journal in the 1980s, on the thesis that the Federal Reserve System is a vast tax-farming scheme, creating monies out of nothing, loaning them to the United States, charging interest that must be repaid with taxes. It sounds paranoiac, until you learn that the Federal Reserve Act was closely associated with the ratification of the Sixteenth Amendment to the US Constitution establishing the Federal Income Tax.

Now that Texas is close to pushing us over the top of the number of states required to ask Congress to call a Constitutional Convention, what might happen if Congress fails to take action over Lois Lerner? The Convention might try to abolish the IRS but, in the process, overthrow the whole financial system.

Never mind, the media would ignore it, the Executive would then get away with refusing to enforce it. No worries.

The Enchanted Ring (1892)

AndrewLangGreenFairyBook1892Once upon a time there lived a young man named Rosimond, who was as good and handsome as his elder brother Bramintho was ugly and wicked. Their mother detested her eldest son, and had only eyes for the youngest. This excited Bramintho’s jealousy, and he invented a horrible story in order to ruin his brother. He told his father that Rosimond was in the habit of visiting a neighbour who was an enemy of the family, and betraying to him all that went on in the house, and was plotting with him to poison their father.

The father flew into a rage, and flogged his son till the blood came. Then he threw him into prison and kept him for three days without food, and after that he turned him out of the house, and threatened to kill him if he ever came back. The mother was miserable, and did nothing but weep, but she dared not say anything.

The youth left his home with tears in his eyes, not knowing where to go, and wandered about for many hours till he came to a thick wood. Night overtook him at the foot of a great rock, and he fell asleep on a bank of moss, lulled by the music of a little brook.

It was dawn when he woke, and he saw before him a beautiful woman seated on a grey horse, with trappings of gold, who looked as if she were preparing for the hunt.

‘Have you seen a stag and some deerhounds go by?’ she asked.

‘No, madam,’ he replied.

Then she added, ‘You look unhappy; is there anything the matter? Take this ring, which will make you the happiest and most powerful of men, provided you never make a bad use of it. If you turn the diamond inside, you will become invisible. If you turn it outside, you will become visible again. If you place it on your little finger, you will take the shape of the King’s son, followed by a splendid court. If you put it on your fourth finger, you will take your own shape.’

Then the young man understood that it was a Fairy who was speaking to him, and when she had finished she plunged into the woods. The youth was very impatient to try the ring, and returned home immediately. He found that the Fairy had spoken the truth, and that he could see and hear everything, while he himself was unseen. It lay with him to revenge himself, if he chose, on his brother, without the slightest danger to himself, and he told no one but his mother of all the strange things that had befallen him. He afterwards put the enchanted ring on his little finger, and appeared as the King’s son, followed by a hundred fine horses, and a guard of officers all richly dressed.

His father was much surprised to see the King’s son in his quiet little house, and he felt rather embarrassed, not knowing what was the proper way to behave on such a grand occasion. Then Rosimond asked him how many sons he had.

‘Two,’ replied he.

‘I wish to see them,’ said Rosimond. ‘Send for them at once. I desire to take them both to Court, in order to make their fortunes.’

The father hesitated, then answered: ‘Here is the eldest, whom I have the honour to present to your Highness.’

‘But where is the youngest? I wish to see him too,’ persisted Rosimond.

‘He is not here,’ said the father. ‘I had to punish him for a fault, and he has run away.’

Then Rosimond replied, ‘You should have shown him what was right, but not have punished him. However, let the elder come with me, and as for you, follow these two guards, who will escort you to a place that I will point out to them.’ Continue reading

Webpage Coder’s “Senior Moment”

Dreamtime output outlined in red.

Bill Keevers took a little afternoon siesta while coding this file for City of Sacramento residents to report missed service for "solid waste" pickup. (Read "garbage").

Bill Keevers took a little afternoon siesta while coding this file for City of Sacramento residents to report missed service for “solid waste” pickup. (Read “garbage”).
AirPassengerFallsAsleepOnSlashKeyWe know that poor ventilation can sometimes leave airline passengers feeling sleepy.

But one busy traveler drifted off on his flight –but not before he took his finger off his laptop keyboard.

A video uploaded on YouTube showing the sleeping man with his finger stuck pushing the ‘////////////’ key on his keyboard went viral, and has been watched 100,000s of times.

Entitled “Dude sleeping on jet w/finger on slash key,” it was apparently shot by his seat mate.

Sons of the Fair Star, by Ambrose Bierce (1842 – c. 1914)

In Which the Author Speculates on the Habits of Industry
on an Alien Planet Populated by a Nation Similar to His Own

The inhabitants of Mogon-Zwair call themselves Golampis, a word signifying Sons of the Fair Star.…They hold, with the best, wisest and most experienced of our own race, and one other hereafter to be described, that wealth does not bring happiness and is a misfortune and an evil.


Ambrose Bierce (1842 – c. 1914)

None but the most ignorant and depraved, therefore, take the trouble to acquire or preserve it. A rich Golampi is naturally regarded with contempt and suspicion, is shunned by the good and respectable and subjected to police surveillance.

Accustomed to a world where the rich man is profoundly and justly respected for his goodness and wisdom (manifested in part by his own deprecatory protests against the wealth of which, nevertheless, he is apparently unable to rid himself), I was at first greatly pained to observe the contumelious manner of the Golampis toward this class of men, carried in some instances to the length of personal violence; a popular amusement being the pelting them with coins. These the victims would carefully gather from the ground and carry away with them, thus increasing their hoard and making themselves all the more liable to popular indignities.


Kleingeld (Small Change) – 2000 Oscar Nominated Short Film

When the cultivated and intelligent Golampi finds himself growing too wealthy he proceeds to get rid of his surplus riches by some one of many easy expedients. One of these I have just described; another is to give his excess to those of his own class who have not sufficient to buy employment and so escape leisure, which is considered the greatest evil of all.

“Idleness,” says one of their famous authors, “is the child of poverty and the parent of discontent”; and another great writer says: “No one is without employment; the indolent man works for his enemies.” In conformity to these ideas the Golampis—all but the ignorant and vicious rich—look upon labor as the highest good, and the man who is so unfortunate as not to have enough money to purchase employment in some useful industry will rather engage in a useless one than not labor at all.

It is not unusual to see hundreds of men carrying water from a river and pouring it into a natural ravine or artificial channel, through which it runs back into the stream. Frequently a man is seen conveying stones—or the masses of metal which there correspond to stones—from one pile to another. When all have been heaped in a single place he will convey them back again, or to a new place, and so proceed until darkness puts an end to the work. This kind of labor, however, does not confer the satisfaction derived from the consciousness of being useful, and is never performed by any person having the means to hire another to employ him in some beneficial industry. Continue reading

Hi Tech

KevlarShortsCOUNTER-MEASURE: Kevlar shorts – Tuesday, 17. August 2010 – 19:08 16.08.10. – 13:00 – Lazy bums – – Cash strapped park officials in China are putting the wind up lazy bums who loaf on their benches for too long – By Fitting Steel Spikes On A Coin-Operated Timer. If visitors at the Yantai Park in Shangdong province, eastern China, linger too long without feeding the meter, DOZENS OF SHARP SPIKES SHOOT THROUGH THE SEAT. Park bosses got the idea from an art installation in Germany where sculptor Fabian Brunsing created a similar bench as a protest against the commercialization of modern life. “He thought he was exaggerating. He didn’t foresee that a very practical country like China might actually use them for real,” said one critic. Parks in China suffer from chronic overcrowding at weekends when millions of people try to escape the country’s teeming cities. “We have to make sure the facilities are shared out evenly and this seems like a fair way to stop people grabbing a bench at dawn and staying there all day,” said one park official.

Couple Avoids Jail: Will Keep Record Store Open

by Judith Schumann Weizner

Back Issues of Heterodoxy

(April/May 2000)

The Musicants

The Musikants

Today, Ernest and Sylvia Musikant are breathing easy for the first time in many months , having won an eleventh-hour reprieve of the prison sentence they were to begin serving this morning for a violation of the Racial Equity in Employment Act.

The couple, whose classical record store, We’ll Get Bach To You, has been a fixture on Manhattan’s West Side since 1968, had been ordered to report to the Federal Race and Hate Crimes Correctional Facility on Ward’s Island to begin their fourteen-year term, but last-minute negotiations with former employee Harris Holloway led Holloway to drop his complaint in exchange for certain concessions.

Holloway, also known as Akimbo Ali, had charged the Musikants with promoting cultural stereotypes by giving him menial work to do while allowing other employees to sell records.

The Musikants hired Holloway in 1998 to do general maintenance and cleaning. As far as they knew he was satisfied with their treatment of him, but during his hearing before the Racial Equity in Employment Commission (REEC), it developed that Holloway had told his therapist that he felt his self-esteem seriously compromised by having to dust the displays in the presence of customers and the sales force.

At first, this revelation surprised the Musikants, but subsequently they recalled that the young man, a high school drop-out with no apparent interest in classical music, had once requested an opportunity to test his salesmanship skills. They agreed to consider him, but said he would have to pass the same test taken by all other employees.

When he took the test he was unable to name a single classical artist. (Because all prospective salespeople had to demonstrate a knowledge of artists and recordings by scoring at least 80 percent on a written test, most of the sales staff were conservatory students or graduates.) Since Holloway seemed so intent upon improving himself, the Musikants offered him one paid afternoon off each week for the purpose of studying and told him he could re-take the test at any time.


Aminu Ali Akimbo, Nigeria

After several months, he repeated the test, scoring 23 percent. The Musikants agreed that this was a significant improvement and encouraged him to keep studying, but reminded him that all sales personnel had to know 80 percent of the material.

During this time, We’ll Get Bach To You became involved in a controversy concerning its display window. The store had been decorated for Christmas and Chanukah, and prominent displays of recordings associated with the season had been arranged. When a neighborhood resident pointed out that the display took no notice of Kwanzaa, the Musikants explained that as yet there was no classical Kwanzaa music, and that the window had been planned with the idea of increasing seasonal sales of existing inventory.

This did not satisfy the neighbor, who filed a charge of cultural abrogation against them. Wishing to put an end to the matter as quickly as possible, the Musikants added a Kwanzaa display to the window and the charge was withdrawn. But the next day they received a directive from the Federal Dogma Tolerance Enforcement Agency (FDTEA) ordering the store closed immediately pending resolution of a complaint filed by the Upper West Side Alliance for Freedom from Religion, which protested the prominent placement of Bach’s Christmas Cantata in the show window.

Eager to reopen as quickly as possible at this most lucrative time of the year, the Musikants immediately moved the Christmas Cantata inside to a place where it could not be seen from the street, replaced it with a recording of the Brandenburg Concertos, and called the FDTEA to send a compliance monitor.

When the monitor saw the display, he commended them for having carried out the agency’s orders so quickly, and issued a certificate of compliance. The grateful Musikants, having lost only two days’ sales, re-opened the store, and, to entice shoppers, offered two recordings for the price of one. For a while it seemed they might be able to recoup their losses, but two days later, the FDTEA compliance monitor returned, citing a second complaint by the Upper West Side Alliance for Freedom from Religion, which claimed that while the Musikants appeared to have complied with the FDTEA directive, they actually persisted in violating their members’ right to freedom from religion, since everyone knew that Bach had been a highly religious composer.

Desperate to keep the store open, the Musikants offered to replace the Brandenburg concertos immediately with any recording of the compliance monitor’s choice. He agreed and, after an exhaustive perusal of their inventory, advised them that Vivaldi’s Four Seasons would probably be inoffensive. The Four Seasons replaced the Concertos in the show window and a second certificate was issued on the spot.

Three days later, however, the Musikants received another summons from the FDTEA ordering them to a hearing before an agency adjudicator to determine whether, at the time they consented to the replacement of the Concertos with the Four Seasons , they had been aware that Vivaldi was a priest. Since the summons was not accompanied by an order to close, they hastily removed the Four Seasons from the display and replaced it with The Rite of Spring.

The Musikants managed to break even for December despite the two-day closing. At the hearing they told the adjudicator that they had asked the agency’s own compliance monitor to choose the replacement for the Brandenburgs to prevent them from inadvertently contravening the agency’s wishes, and insisted that they had not known Vivaldi was a priest. However, their college transcripts revealed that both had received nearly perfect scores in music history, and when an inventory audit revealed that the fact of the composer’s priesthood was disclosed in the liner notes of one recording of a Vivaldi concerto, they were threatened with additional charges of obstructing the mission of a federal agency if they could not prove their ignorance.

The Musikants explained that on the day Vivaldi was discussed in music history they had become engaged and had cut class to celebrate. They also insisted that they would never read the liner notes of any recording sold in the store, as that would involve opening the wrapper. The FDTEA adjudicator promised a ruling within the month, and the Musikants went back to work. But before the decision came down they found themselves facing yet another threat.

Antonio Vivaldi

Antonio Vivaldi

The inventory audit carried out during the hearing had uncovered the fact that while the store’s inventory did include recordings by minority artists, 99.96 percent of the composers represented were of European background. Bound by the Uniform Federal Standards in Diversity Act, the FDTEA had shared its findings with the Federal Diversity Management Board (FDMB), which now demanded an exact accounting of the racial background of the artists represented in the store’s inventory. Because the order included a determination of the racial make-up of the various orchestras and chamber music groups whose recordings they sold, the Musikants had to hire a reference consultant and a mathematician.

When the audit proved that the racial character of the inventory was not representative of the country as a whole, the Musikants requested a hearing before an FDMB examiner. They reminded the examiner that We’ll Get Bach To You was a classical music store, specializing in music by classical composers, mostly dead white European males, although there were works by females as well, but that so far there was not much classical music by minority composers. They explained that they made it a point to showcase recordings by minority performers, and that whenever there were compositions by minority composers they promoted them as well.

The examiner said that while he understood the state of classical music in the United States, he had to enforce the standards mandated by the Uniform Federal Standards in Diversity Act, and gave them the choice of endowing a three million dollar fund for the training of classical composers from the inner city, or expanding their inventory to include music by minority composers and artists, whether or not it could be deemed “classical”. He reminded them that failure to comply would subject them to immediate forfeiture of the business and charges of cultural chauvinism.

Switched On Sebastian

Switched On Sebastian

Unable to endow a fund, the Musikants have agreed to set up a rap music section with Harris Holloway as its manager, in exchange for dismissal of all charges of cultural stereotyping against them. Lawyers for REEC have consented to allow Hollway to drop his complaint, even though making him manager of the rap section could open the door for a second charge of furthering a cultural stereotype if he later requests a position in the classical music section and does not get it. The Musikants also agree to continue Holloway’s paid afternoon off to further his classical studies.

While the FDTEA’s ruling on the obstruction charge is expected later this month, experts believe that it may be put on hold pending the results of the Musikants’s next three annual FDMB reviews.

In an interview today on New York’s Channel 99, Mr. Musikant, co-founder of New Yorkers for Sufficient Government, was asked whether his recent travails had undermined his confidence in the system.

“On the contrary,” he said. “I think this is a perfect example of what happens when good ideas mesh—we’ll have a job in management for Harris, which he wants, and my wife and I will not go to jail, which we want. We’ve been advised that we’ll have to change the name of the store to reflect its new diversity, so we’ve been fooling around with a few possibilities. What do you think of We’ll Get Rap Bach To You?”

Groucho Marx – 1-Liners

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say. – Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

Time wounds all heels.

Now there’s a man with an open mind — you can feel the breeze from here!

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn’t have a tape measure.

You know you haven’t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

I cannot say that I do not disagree with you.

I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog. Continue reading

Minnie’s Yoo Yoo (Walt Disney & Carl Stalling, 1930)

(Turn down the volume slider on the right!)

[ca_audio url=”`sYooYoo.mp3″ width=”500″ height=”27″ css_class=”codeart-google-mp3-player”]

Minnie`s Yoo Hoo sheet music acrobat file

Minnie`s Yoo Hoo sheet music

Minnie`s Yoo Hoo sheet music

Minnies Yoo Hoo by Mickey Mouse Theme Song

(Verse 1)
I’m the guy they call little Mickey Mouse
Got a sweetie down in the chicken house
Neither fat nor skinny
She’s the horse’s whinny
She’s my little Minnie Mouse!
When it’s feedin’ time for the animals
And they howl and growl like the cannibals
I just turn my heel to the henhouse steal
And you’ll hear me sing this song

Oh, the old tomcat with the meow, meow, meow!
Ol’ hound dog with the bow-wow-wow!
The crow’s caw-caw!
And the mule’s hee-haw!
Gosh what a racket like an ol’ buzz saw!
I have listened to the cuckoo cuke his coo-coo!
And I’ve heard the rooster cock his doodle doo-oo
With the cows and the chickens
They all sound like the dickens
When I hear my little Minnie’s Yoo-Hoo!

Continue reading

Mr. Handel’s Bunny Hop (Gigue, Water Music No. 3)

(Turn down the volume slider on the right!)

[ca_audio url=”″ width=”500″ height=”27″ css_class=”codeart-google-mp3-player”]

Mr. Handel's Bunny Hop (Gigue, Water Music No. 3), sheet music for keyboards and pedals

Mr. Handel’s Bunny Hop (Gigue, Water Music No. 3), sheet music for keyboards and pedals

Mr. Handel’s Bunny Hop (Gigue, Water Music No. 3), sheet music for keyboards and pedals acrobat file

Walk, Don’t Run (with lyrics)

Ventures Walk Don't Run
(Turn down the volume slider on the right!)

OH walk don’t run ‘cause you know you can get hurt.
Running is messy ‘cause you kick up the dirt.
Walk don’t run, if you know what’s good for you.

Walking’s a method of travel you should choose.
Running can mess up the soles of your shoes
Walk don’t run, ‘cause you’ll get blisters, corns and athlete’s foot.

So it may take a little longer,
to get where you’re going.
Hey, so WHAT!!?
Think of the breath you’ll save.
Don’t be a slave to the crowd!
Plus it’s easier.

Listen to me I have no reason to lie.
Walk don’t run, since you know that you can’t fly.
Walk don’t run,
walk don’t run, walk, don’t run.

W-A-L-K  D-O-N’T R-U-N.