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My Screamie Memes

Fr. WhatsHisName & The Questionable Habits

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Tensions Escalate As North Korea Threatens To Deploy LCWR Nuns On West

An army of homegrown North Korean members of the LCWR prepare to be strapped to Missiles.

WASHINGTON–Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is calling North Korea’s threat to use LCWR nuns strapped to long-range missiles a “provocative action” and a “growing threat” to the U.S. and its allies. In a telephone call to Eye of the Tiber Tuesday evening, Hagel cited North Korea’s pursuit of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles as “nothing compared to the threat of one more nun from the Leadership Conference of Women Religious successfully reaching the mainlands.” “We need to do everything in our power to stop the North Korean threat before we get to the point of no return,” Hagel said. “What we fear is a miscalculation that leads to a provocation.” North Korea has recently stated that they have the ability to attach an LCWR nun to a long-range missile that could target South Korea and the U.S. mainlands. “From there who knows what damage the nun would inflict. Thousands…tens of thousands of innocent television viewers could be in danger of having to watch as the nun is inevitably interviewed by CNN. We have enough of them here as it is, and the officials in Pyongyang know this. One more of them could break the Church in the U.S. When the Church goes, so does the last vestiges of culture, and finally, the U.S. would crumble as well. It’s a slow, painful death.”

Sister Patricia: On The LCWR ‘Crackdown’

Published Monday, April 30, 2012 A.D. | By LarryD

(Cross-posted at Acts of the Apostasy)

(Sister Patricia Owens O’Flannery, OP, a post-modern pre-traditional omni-spiritual Dominican sister, periodically contributes to AoftheA. Today she’s been invited to offer her unique perspective on the Vatican’s recent decision on the LCWR.)

Hello, dear and gentle readers and friends of LarryD! May the warmth and vicissitude of Nature grace you with immeasurable beneficence! I have been praying for each of you every day, offering supplication that Sophia bless you and surround you with her wise wisdom, inspiring you to dance and play and immerse yourself in Her ephemeral permanence of lasting spontaneity!

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…But Seriously, Now…

Nuns and Ohio voter fraud


A Greater Cincinnati nun is suspected of illegally casting a ballot for another nun who died before last November’s election, a new case of alleged vote fraud that emerged as local officials move to wrap up their investigation into election improprieties last fall.

Sister Rose Marie Hewitt, 78, died Oct. 4 after a 59-year career as a Sister of Charity [… a “prototypical LCWR type of congregation”…] that included service in schools here and across the country, as well as in various other positions in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky.Although her death occurred before absentee ballots had been mailed to voters throughout Hamilton County, a completed ballot was returned to the elections board in Hewitt’s name.Officials believe the ballot was sent by another local Sister of Charity who was a friend of Hewitt and is registered at the same Delhi Township address. That person cast her own vote at her polling place on Election Day. [Who thinks they voted GOP? Raise your hands!]

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LCWR denounces arrest of Pope’s valet


ROME – Joining forces with the Women’s Ordination Conference, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious has enlisted the services of Fr. Ray Bourgeois, MM, in an effort to secure the release of the Pope’s Butler from a Vatican jail cell where he awaits trial for stealing and disclosing classified papal and Holy See documents to the press.

Likening the Pope’s Butler to Daniel Ellsberg of Pentagon Papers fame, Sr. R.U. Kidding, a Daughter of Charity and co-mentor of the LCWR, said that the Pope’s Butler was a “political prisoner” and that the Vatican was “torturing” him and should release him as the hero he is.

“Yes, the Vatican is just as mediveal as we have always said it was. This just proves it.”, reiterated Sr Randi McNulty, a Sister of Mercy and another LCWR co-mentor.

When questioned about the possibility that crimes were committed, Bourgeois shot back, “Some needs outweigh outdated male-made rules. We call on the Vatican gendarmes to free that butler and free him now. Free The Vatican 1!”

Bourgeois, co-spokesperson and famed rights champion said, “The butler is in solitary confinement in a Vatican jail for trying to bring transparency to the highest levels of Vatican intrigue. We stand in solidarity with all those oppressed by male-hierarchical power.”

A clearly angry Sr. Kidding said, “He struck a blow for equality and they’re making him a scapegoat.”

Visibly moved, Bourgeois added, “This guy’s … a hero.”

There have been unconfirmed reports of nuns in pants suits with scaling ladders at the Vatican walls.