Friar Paul Schloemer, OFM Conv, Monday, (May 13, 2013, 12:23 PM) comments on Dr. Robert Carlos Lopez’ article [featured on this blog as Kids of SSA – Smile or SHUT UP! ]
Dr. Lopez, I appreciate your comments and your experience. It is a valuable voice in this debate, and, as a Catholic priest with gay friends, whom I love dearly, it is good information. However, I notice that you discount rather severely the opinions of pediatricians and psychologists who, although as influenced as any by the world they live in, do base those opinions not solely on personal experience, but more objective studies with analyses of multiple case situations. Reading the link on your personal story, it seems to me that your upbringing was more as a child of divorce, than of two lesbian parents (you mention that your mother’s lover didn’t move in until you were 18-19, a legal adult). Your feelings of abandonment, and loss of a father figure would seem to be present regardless of whether your mom was seeing someone else, regardless of sex. Have you considered how your opinion may be different had you never known your father, but instead had been raised from earliest memory by two women? That seems to me to be the primary question before the state, and the one that needs to be addressed.
And if you have been amassing testimonials from other children of same-sex households, could you not amass those comments into a formal study. Any grad psych student should be able to help you in converting text to researchable data.
Just a thought. God bless you.
Pizza Man Responds: With respect, Fr. Schloemer, Dawn Stefanowicz might have another point of view. Catholic Answers radio shows: http://www.catholic.com/search/content/Stefanowicz
Dawn Stefanowicz: The Perils of Gay Parenting
Catholic Answers: Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010 – 7pm ET
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Gosh, Fr. Paul, it seems like the Mark Regnerus study is not based “solely on personal experience, but more objective studies with analyses of multiple case situations”.
Dr. Robert Carlos Lopez responds…
…to Sacra Pizza Man’s comment “go easy on this guy”:
Hi [Sacra Pizza Man],
Thanks for your email. I am not discounting the voices of psychologists and pediatricians per se. I am discounting the consensus that’s been put forward, which is not real. There are many psychologists and pediatricians who have contradictory data and they have been hounded out of academic life if they do not endorse the LGBT line, so their work has been excluded from the “consensus.”
The only two studies that used both objective long-term reference points and broad non-convenience samples were the Regnerus study and one done in 1997, both of which found that children of parents in same-sex relationships have serious problems. Anyways I am personally not invested in the hygienic or epidemiological angle on same-sex parenting… see below.
My concern is with human rights and same-sex parenting violates larger internationally recognized standards of human rights, such as (1) the right of a child to be bonded with its heritage (UN Declaration of the Rights of Children), (2) the right of a child not to be bought or sold (13th Amendment of US Constitution), and (3) the right of a child to participate in the civil and cultural traditions of its society including Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and what those days represent (see Unicef rights of the child).
Psychologists and pediatricians do case studies with very basic short-term metrics, testing for irregular “developmental” trends. The criteria are not objective at all; they are circular and designed with an eye to making it as easy as possible for gay couples not to be viewed pejoratively in the data sets. Even so, these fields are not looking at large historical and trans-cultural issues such as whether same-sex parenting violates people’s human rights.
My issue was not with feelings of abandonment, so you must be projecting something onto me. I didn’t have a father in my life at all when I was a child, because my parents split before I was born. Even worse than my situation would be one in which two lesbians adopt a child or contract for a child with a sperm bank, which then leave the child knowing that the loss of a father figure was the result of what his mothers did. Anyway at this point my efforts are not based on my personal experience. I am working to help other people who may be abused by the system of same-sex parenting if it proliferates.